That's not fair!

There are many things we experience while we live. The love of a mother, the playfulness of a kitten, the wonder of a child. These are things to behold should you be fortuneate enough to live in a country where such experiences are available to anyone and everyone. These things are quite often forgotten as you grow up and become ‘educated’ in ‘the system’. This systems does not teach you to think, it only teaches you to memorize. And don’t you DARE question authority! Sigh, I see this every day. When I worked as a contractor for an IT company, I was doing it under my corporation. There was a certain tax that if I made less than $X amount, I didn’t need that tax registration number. So after 8 weeks the company I was working through asked for my number…again. When I started they asked for it and I told them then that my corporation has never been used and in the 6 month duration of this proposed contract I would be making less than the required amount. They said nothing and let me go on my way. 2 months into the contract they ‘tell’ me I need this tax registration number. I pushed back asking them to prove it. I spoke with the Gov’t and they said there is no requirement for me to need one and that they don’t enforce it (as this stupid company was claiming). The company said they’d pass it onto their legal department. 2 more weeks go by and they push again. This time claiming that their accountants said they need it. (Funny, two weeks ago they told me it was the Gov’t and now it’s not….). I stated my reasons again why I don’t need it and am not interested in getting one (it is purely voluntary if I make less than the required amount). I simply asked them to provide me with the legal proof that I am required to have this registration number. The best they could come up with was “Well, it’s just our policy…”. Their policy doesn’t override Gov’t regulations.

See, you are not allowed to think. When you do, they will throw everything and ANYthing at you to get you to bend to their will. They don’t like change, they don’t like challenges to the ‘status quo’. Well, it’s people like me that will challenge this to the end of my days. I am simply not some sheep or lemming that follows blindly. I am at the forefront of society paving the way for those who are still ‘sleeping’ while they go about their daily lives.

Here are some prime examples of this:

I tell this guy to go log into his account and then go to ‘manage products’ to see his products. He replies “I don’t see it under manager serial numbers.”

Umm….yeah…..and if you missed that….then you are asleep. Read that again.

Here’s another pristine example:

We have a rule for closing support requests if there is no response from the person who submitted it. So I get this record, I reply with a request for more information. 4 days later and no response. So I sent out a “we’re sorry you were unable to respond in a timely manner…” type of letter and close the request. I _then_ get a response “I was out of the office for 4 days and you close my request. That’s not fair.” Dude, you are compaining because you don’t have time to fix a problem you wanted fixed? Call us when you really want to fix your issue…..while you’re at it… call a shrink too, aparently you need a ‘reality adjustment’to help your perspective on the world.

Geeze, I keep picturing this 13 yr old girl being told to ‘go to her room with no internet’ and her whiny reply being “That’s not fair!”

There have also been times when it’s easier to use an abaccus rather than counting software upgrade paths and support entitlement for licenses licenses with this oen company I worked for. See….now THAT’S not fair to torture your clients and support staff with such confusing BS 😉

So, you think your a Pirate eh?

Being a Pirate ain’t what it’s cracked up to be any more. Let’s define the traditional term first:

PIRATE. A sea robber, who, to enrich himself by subtlety or open force, setteth upon merchants and others trading by sea, despoiling them of their loading, and sometimes bereaving them of life and, sinking their ships; Ridley’s View of the Civ. and Eccl. Law, part 2, c. 1, s. 8; or more generally one guilty of the crime of piracy. Merl. Repert. h.t. See, for the etymology of this word, Bac. Ab. Piracy

Source: Bouvier’s Law Dictionary, Revised 6th Ed (1856)

So, the modern term does truly apply here does it? But hey, let’s take an old term and twist it so that those who fall under the establishment’s decision or radar, will be branded as such. This usually happens when a language doesn’t have the right words to properly describe something.

What gets me is how far they will push this concept and to what extent they will go to prove they have a valid term and claim against those that oppose them. Take the recent crusade against iiNet by AFACT. (please close attention to the words used…..especially the name AFACT. That clearly implies an automatic authority and ‘fact’ to their cause, of which neither is inherently true. Just an assumption of ideas to justify their stance.).

“AFACT continues to insist that iiNet should be responsible for becoming copyright cops themselves”

This statement alone makes such broad and sweeping claims of authority that it should scare the living shit right out of you. Some group claims that a company responsible for providing access to a resource should comply with their (made up) demands and hand over ‘the booty’. Does this not simply chill to the bone? No? Then let me put it in other terms: “You phone company that provides Internet Service has been ordered by a PRIVATE company to hand over your information without legal demands.”.

Hey, this makes as much sense as RIAA blaming the Ministry of Transportation for them allowing ‘those damn meddling kids’ access to roads that took them to the house where this ‘Internet theft’ occurred! Seriously, where does it stop? Those who allow access to public resources should not held accountable.

The key here is the definition of public. Generally speaking, anything ‘public’ is acceptable. Access to public parks, roads and land is all public. The Internet should be considered a Public Resource. Like the real world, there are things that are illegal based on the country you are in. So, if it is illegal to buy/own a gun in your country, then doing so online should be illegal. Noone goes out and blames the Gov’t (who ‘owns’ the road) for someone walking down and purchasing a gun. The road was merely a means (resource) to be utilized by the public.

So, if Gov’t = ISP’s, then why are they getting the blame? Just because theses stupid pseudo-police-wanna-be groups are looking for a target to blame? Geeze, they would be better off by creating programs to educate children….but wait….that would mean they have to teach kids to think for themselves and thus make them obsolete…..that would put them out of a job that they created for themselves. Damn….so much for the evolution of teh human spirit.

I don't know, I just clicked ok

There are many types of people that the ‘tech support industry’ really can’t stand dealing with.

You have the type that say

“I got an error message.” and when you ask “Ok, what did it say?” they reply “I don’t know, I just clicked ok. What do I do next?”.

These you want to just throttle their air-passage bandwidth to nill!

Then you have your polar opposites.

“I got an error message.” and when you say “Ok, hit the escape key.” and they reply “Oh wait wait now, slow down……where’s that?”

These ones you want to give them a system that more to their speed.

Those types are part of sub-groups from the globally regional people that I have dealt with over the years. Being in Canada there is a group that every single tech cant’ stand…….Quebec. There is such an attitude that it’s unbelievable. It’s like “We have to call English Tech support….pfft….what do they know…..they only speak English…..they can’t help me…”. These idiots actually have the audacity to insult techs on the phone in french! I was working for a company and the girl beside me knew French but would not speak it because of the problems dealing with Quebec clients. She put this client on ‘hold’ (which was actually mute….a word to the wise to you people calling support….pay attention here…). While on ‘mute’ this my fellow workmate said “She just called me an idiot!” See, the clueless client thought we couldn’t hear her and so voiced her displeasure at our ‘obvious’ incomeptence. It was funny when my workmate went back and asked “Did you just call me an idiot?”. Geeze.

At the company I currently work for, each client has the ability to manage their own products and who they can allow/remove access to. I get this request from this clown to add him to some products(and the primary manager) and remove this other guy. I add him to the product and then get him detailed steps on how to manage them (i.e. click here, click here and then click there, done). He says he doesn’t have the ‘remove button’ and sends me a screen shot. What is totally mind blowing is the fact that this guy does not send me a whole screen shot…..he sends me a screen shot that is cut off RIGHT ABOVE where the buttons are! Buddy is so dumb that he believes that “I’ll just send him a screen shot and not show the remove button and he’ll believe that I can’t actually do it….”. Seriously?? I send him back a screen shot WITH the button showing then closed the case.

It is absolutely stunning that someone tries to pull such dumb-ass stunts over the people who are trying to help them. As bad as cliches like ‘dumb Americans’ are, I can tell you….from dealing with people all around the world here, it is the Americans who are usually the worst to deal with. Actually, there is one group is more annoying….the American Sales Guys for this company. Call them a sub-group if you will, but damn people. It’s no wonder you love Canadians and their ingenuity so much because y’all are dumb as stumps most of the time!

Termination Of Your MOUNTAINCABLE.NET Webmail Account.

Just like clockwork, I get these types of emails at least once a month. This time though, I decided that I’ll poke a bit of fun at these morons. Unfortunately (or rather fortunately) my ISP provider blocked anyone from sending to them. That’s ok, I just logged into my JadedTech email address and sent it from there. So here’s my response and including the full headers of the email address. Raw and unedited. It was a quickie response with little planning at all to the content.

*****

Wow, who would have thunk that such things existed on my Mountain cable
internet provider! Geeze, here I was thinking they were good at keeping
on top of such things. Well, guess I know better.

The world has been having hard times and I guess MountainCable.net has
been affected like everyone else. Sub-par spam software, not enough
anti-virus protection…heck, I’ve even been allowed to view porn while
surfing through their system (You’ll want to look up Brian Henry…..it’s
amazing stuff!)

So, I am surprised to see MountainCable.net support being outsourced to
Vietnamair.com.vn. I knew India was big for IT outsourcing but never once
though of Vietnam as being so interested in IT. I shall correct my
information immediately! Although I am also surprised that
Vietnamair.com.vn is hosted in Singapore! Wow, this world is truly a
Global Economy!

I’m sure glad you ain’t one of those scamming people from Nigeria. Those
guys are _real_ buggers, trying to get people to send them money. You can
read up on them at 419eater.com. Great stories there about people who are
aware of such tactics and how they can prevent from being scammed for
their life savings.

So, in keeping with the spirit of being ‘above board’ and ‘legal’, I have
taken the liberty of including the full-headers of your email address and
replied to all known authorities and reporting agencies as well as The
Dean Blundell show (www.edge.ca) because I think it should be well and
duly noted that Vietnamair.com.vn provides such a great service as to
offer to validate our email address and passwords on behalf of
MountainCable.net.

And so, in complying with your request, please find my email address and
password below. Note, the email address you sent to is merely an alias
and only the one listed below is my _true_ email address.

email address:
douchebagscammer@mountaincable.net.tv.whereever.omygodthisisalongemailaddress.com

Password: password.

(Do NOT forget the “.” at the end, otherwise you’ll lock out my account
and I NEED my emails to surf the Interwebs!!!”

*******

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Message-ID:
<b9552555bd525e9e0ad0f6d8df781d20.squirrel@webmail.freeshell.org
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 2009 20:07:54 -0000 (UTC)
Subject: Termination Of Your MOUNTAINCABLE.NET Webmail Account.
From: "WEBMAIL VIRUS ALERT UPDATE" <reservation.sfo@vietnamair.com.vn
Reply-To: reservation.sfo@vietnamair.com.vn
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*********************************************************************************************
Dear User,

Termination Of Your MOUNTAINCABLE.NET Webmail Account.

We are currently carrying out an upgrade on our system, due to the fact
that it has come to our notice that one or more of our subscribers are
introducing a very strong virus which is spreading really fast into our
system and it is affecting our network.We are trying to find out the
specific user. Please you are advised to change the password on your
account in order to prevent any unauthorized account access.

All Mail hub systems will undergo regularly scheduled maintenance. Access
to your e-mail via the Web mail client will be unavailable for some time
during this maintenance period. We are currently upgrading our data base
and e-mail account center i.e homepage view. We shall be deleting old
accounts which are no longer active to create more space for new accounts
users. we have also investigated a system wide security audit to improve
and enhance our current security against virus and spammers.

In order to continue using our services you are require to update and
re-confirmed your email account details as requested below. To complete
your account re-confirmation, you must reply to this email immediately
and
enter your account details as requested below.

Information Required

Full E-mail Address:
Username :
Password:

Failure to do this will immediately render your account deactivated from
our database and service will not be interrupted as important messages
may
as well be lost due to your declining to re-confirmed to us your account
details.

We apologize for the inconvenience that this will cause you during this
period, but trusting that we are here to serve you better and providing
more technology which revolves around email and internet. It is also
pertinent, you understand that our primary concern is for our customers,
and for the security of their files and data.

Hoping to serve you better.

Sincerely,

MOUNTAINCABLE.NET mail Support

********************************************************************************************
This is an Administrative Message from Mail server. It is not spam. From
time to time, MOUNTAINCABLE.NET mail server will send you such messages
in
order to communicate important information about your subscription.

********************************************************************************************

Your search is incorrect

I want you to have Wild Boys by Duran Duran running through your head right now. This will give you the sense of chaos that envelops the IT world. You would think that a world of ONLY 1s and Zeros could get pretty stright forward. Seriously, every computer out there only knows logical responses. It is either 1 or 0. On or off. Yes or No. Black or White (Thank you Michael Jackson for pointing that out). So how is it that Windows manages to screw up so often? Who keeps changing all those little bits and bytes to the wrong decision eh?

See, every thinks that computers understand what the letter ‘a’ is or the number ‘2’. Hell, most people think that a computer ‘knows’ what an email or picture is. They don’t know shit. (I’ll let you figure out if I mean the computers or the people). So, our ‘modern society’ so far advanced that somehow they beleive that ‘searching’ is actually random. And that using Wildcards actually make the search ‘better’ or to include more.

At work I run a report using wildcards. For those who don’t know the term, in respect to technology, the same concept in a card game applies here. The point of a wildcard is to be anything you want it to be. For example, you can do a Google search for automobile and get 121 Million hits. If you do the search with a wildcard, i.e. *mobile, then you get 1.25 Billion hits. The wildcard broadens the search to any word that ends with ‘mobile’ or any site that uses the world mobile on its own. In essence, when you use a wildcard for searching, your results will include everything with that term. At least that is the theory.

I run this report at work using wild cards and there is information missing that should have been included. So I create an internal ticket to discover why the search did not cover some information that it missed. Then I get told that using wildcards won’t bring up the information I looked for. I am supposed to search for the terms directly. Hang on a second….I’m being told I need to know what I’m looking for BEFORE I look for it? Did I just hear that?

The same schmuck also told me that ‘most likely your search result was from….’ to which I replied “We don’t accept guesses as answers…”. You ain’t gonna use a ‘wildcard’ answer on me!

So now I’m onto finding out who is responsible for the database searches and not this internal clown that really doesn’t get it. Well, that just turned out to be a fruitless search. In this company, noobody knows anyone who knows anything about who’s responsible. And if that sentence was completely and grammatically incorrect, then you have just experienced the mental quagmire that the IT world oozes and wallows in.