Damn vague clients….

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It seems that vagueness abounds in the IT world. People are so narrow-minded and narcissistic that when they email their incredibly general requests (“It’s not working….” Or “I get an error message…why?”), they actually think that their words have the stupendous ability to convey everything that they did, including a mental screen shot of the error message, to a technician through email! And us ‘lowly techs’ are nothing but their serfs who can simply fix it with one single click of our roller-ball mouse (that is if the dirt accumulated by the ball let’s us move the freaking cursor up that 1/8th of an inch to click…..dammit…move!!!). So I’m thinking of following suit and conforming to society’s stupidity and being just as vague. I’m going to open up a ‘General Store’ where if anyone comes in and asks for bread, I’ll look confused. The moment they ask for ‘dough, long, baked, sliced’ I’ll know immediately what they want! None of this ‘specific information that actually helps’! Give it to me as vague as possible so we can converse on the same level of low-intelligence.

See, as users they think that when they contact a company, that the person they are speaking to has all the client’s information at his finger tips. Their products, their serial numbers, their address, their contract information, their registration date, their contract end date, and the reason why something is missing. Pfft. Everything listed there is on a different system where each tech has to bounce around 15 different screens to pull up that info. This is the most maddening part of the job, finding all the information needed. Oh if only things were so simple that we had the entire client’s info in one window…..life would be grand.

Next request that comes in and asks “Why don’t I see my products on my screen?” I’m going to reply “Because you need to be looking at the screen!” That’ll be just as helpful as their request.

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